Things and Thoughts
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: In which it turns out that Mira has a lot more to teach Laxus than he thought. (Seriously though, who washes their blankets? And cutting your toenails? Not this dragon.) - One-shot.


Things and Thoughts

"What are you doing, demon?"

Mirajane continued to hum. "Isn't it obvious?"

He just blinked, staring down at his feet. "I think so, but it's so weird that I'm not exactly sure."

"You kept scratching me in the night," she said simply as she sat at the end of the bed, a pair of clippers in her hand as she cut his toenails. "And Lax, you should wash your feet more often."

He wiggled his toes. "Are you…cutting my nails for me?"

"Mmmhmm."

"While I was sleeping?"

"I thought that you would throw a fit if I did it while you were awake."

"And what did you think would happen if I woke up in the middle of it?"

"Mmmm…I never got there." She giggled before glancing up the bed at him. "What are you gonna do?"

Hmmm. He wiggled his toes. "Could you massage my feet too?"

"Sure, dragon

That, right there, was just one of the many things that Mirajane brought into Laxus life that, really, he never gave much thought about. Usually he'd just snag a nail against something and, in a fit of rage, go all crazy and cut all his nails to the quick. Never before had he actually taken care to do a good job, leading to many ingrown toenails and a load of other problems.

Such was the same with his shower habits.

"Dragon?"

"Hmmm?"

"You know," Mirajane said slowly one day after they'd both woken up late (her for work down at the guild and him for a meeting with the Thunder God Tribe), "Soap and shampoo have very different things in them."

"What's your point?"

"Using soap for shampoo isn't exactly hygienic."

"Mira, I'm a guy. Shampoo and shit's for, you know, women."

"No, silly, it's not. Maybe if I just bought you some and you used it, you would see-"

"Fine," he groaned. "I'll use shampoo. Just once though. I mean, it's not like going to become my thing or whatever. You can't make me."

"I'm not trying to. Just give it a chance. That's all I'm asking."

And damn it, that was the best thing he ever did. His hair was much easier to mold and shape. It wasn't just Freed who complimented him either. Nope. He got looks and compliments left and right. It was amazing. Even Erza remarked that his hair was looking pretty good, which was weird, but still kind cool. Erza was hot.

Not that the demon had to know that.

He worked shampoo into his regular routine. And while it took awhile to get him hooked on conditioner, it worked wonders too.

The demon just knew so many things that Laxus would never care to learn. So many.

Like how, apparently, you couldn't just wash your bottom, stretchy sheet. Oh, no. According to the demon, you had to wash all of your bed stuff.

"When's the last time you washed this?" she asked one night as they cuddled up on his bed. It was finally winter and they felt the need for some heavy blankets. "It reeks."

"Smells like a man, babe."

"'kay, well, I'm not sharing a bed with my brother, so-"

"Gross. Don't put images in my head of- And I'm gonna vomit."

"Would you be serious for once?"

"Me?"

"You." She shoved the blanket he'd just snuggled them up in away.

"Demon-" he complained, moving to tug it back up. She wasn't having any of that though.

"No, Lax. It stinks," she complained. "Go get another one."

"Well, they'll all smell like that."

"What?"

"What?" he mimicked, staring at her in his dimly lit bedroom. It was so hard to be annoyed with her when she looked so beautiful. "It's a blanket, Mira. They all stink."

"Why don't you wash them then?"

He just stared at her. "Why would I wash-"

"You are not serious."

Again, she just got a stare.

"Laxus-"

"What?" he laughed. "I wash my sheet."

"Sheet? As in singular?"

'Well yeah." He patted the bed beneath them, most importantly his purple bed sheet. "The stretchy one."

"Laxus, are you telling me that that's the only one you wash? The only one you _ever_ wash?"

"Well, yeah." He shrugged some. "Why would I wash blankets? That's crazy, demon."

"So you're telling me that these are the same blankets and other than the top sheet that you cuddled up with other women in?"

"Mira-"

"And had sex with?"

"Why are you asking? Huh? If you won't like the answer? You're- Mira! Come back."

"No." She quickly jumped out of the bed. "That's disgusting."

"It is not."

"What about the pillows, Laxus? The cases? Do you wash those?"

"Mira," he complained. "Why would I?"

"Why wouldn't you? I mean, clearly know to wash the sheet, so-"

"Because," he said with a shrug. "You lay down on the stretchy sheet. Like, constantly. So you sweat on it. But the blankets? The other sheets? The pillow cases? You don't really get them all nasty."

"Uh, yeah, you do."

"No."

"Laxus, you have had sex on those blankets."

"I have sex a lot of places."

"What?"

"What?" Again, he repeated her. Sitting up some, he said, "You think you're the only one that gets the table treatment? The bathroom counter? The kitchen counter?"

"We have never had sex on the kitchen counter."

"…Demon. I got a great idea-"

"You're sick." She gave him a look before turning to walk off. "I'm going home."

"Mira-"

"Wash your sheets, Laxus. And stop being so…pervy all the time. I don't like it."

Two lessons in one night. Mira was a great teacher. You know, after Laxus stopped being pissed that she'd walked out on him.

That lasted for a day or two and then, not able to live knowing the demon was all ticked at him, Laxus went ahead and washed _all_ his sheets and blankets. Even the pillow cases. Because the demon said to. And if all his talk about sex made her uncomfortable, well, he could nix that. He would nix that. For Mira.

There was a time and place for everything, after all.

And those thing were barely the tip of all the things that Mira taught him.

Like apparently, he'd been cutting vegetables wrong his whole life (like, the twenty times before he'd actually done so).

"Laxus, you're going to cut your finger doing it that way."

"What are you- Shit!"

"No cursing. And I told you."

"I only cut it because you distracted me," he grumbled, the blood seeping then from his wound. "And- Hey!"

"Here." They were in her kitchen, so Mira just quickly grabbed a dishrag to hold over the wound, to cot the bleeding. "Don't get your nasty blood everywhere."

"Please," Lisanna begged from the kitchen table where she was looking over a magazine with disinterest. "Keep your nasty diseases to yourself."

"I don't have diseases," he complained as Mira frowned at her sister.

"He better not," the demon agreed. "And Lax, you're asking for it if you cut like that. Your finger was, like, totally in the way of the knife."

"Still blaming you."

"Just let me show you, huh? How to cut them?"

Well…if it meant being closer to the demon…

For someone that everyone seemed to take as an idiot, Laxus' little demon actually knew quite a lot. People just underestimated her.

"Aw," Mira cooed once when he told her that. They were over at his apartment, spending some time together. "That's so sweet."

Grunt.

She just cuddled closer to him on the couch. "But I learn a lot from you too, Lax."

"Really?" He glanced down at her. "I mean, I'm not shocked. I'm a legend in all things I do, but-"

"You taught me how to fix the fence."

"I didn't teach you. You were just too lazy to get out there and nail the pieces of wood back together."

"Uh…you taught me how to make a sandwich the way you like it."

"Again, that wasn't really teaching you something. That was me having a preference and you taking to doing something the way I preferred it."

"Well, you also taught me what kind of cigars you like so I can pick them up for you when you do something super sweet and deserve a treat."

He frowned down at her. "Have I taught you nothing, woman?"

"I'm sorry, Lax. My mind must just be-"

"I don't want cigars when I do something good," he complained. "I can get those myself. I want a blow."

That got him his own frown. "What did we talk about, Laxus?"

"This doesn't apply to that rule," he told her. "I'm not being a pervert. I'm just making something known."

"Laxus."

"The point," he said then with a sigh, "is that I'm learning all these things from you and I'm not teaching you anything."

"You're teaching me things about you," she pointed out. "If that applies."

"It doesn't."

"Dragon," she complained. "You're just making things complicated. Why does it matter what you've taught me?"

"I'm sitting over here, like, having this inner monologue, appreciating you, but I can't think of a damn thing I've done for you. And you can't either."

"I think I gave you some pretty hard hitting things there, pal."

"Yeah, well- Did you just call me pal?"

"I may have, yes."

"Demon."

Giggling, she snuggled up even closer, if it was possible. "You're not giving me a chance to think. Hmmm. What have you taught me?"

"Apparently nothing."

Still, Mira closed her eyes for a moment, as if in deep thought. Then, slowly, she opened them and said, "You taught me how to change a grumpy old dragon into a very fun, some what decent, and a lot cleaner human being."

"Mira," he complained as she reached up to grab his jaw in her hands and squeeze it. "Knock it off."

"No, Lax. You did teach me that."

"If anything, I would just be the catalyst for that, not the-"

"The what?"

"You know," he grumbled as he pushed her hands off. "The catalyst."

"I don't know what that means."

"It's like the cause. The reason that something had to be done. Or the means. The fast track."

"Oh." She blinked then before grinning. "Laxus!"

"What? Why are you yelling?"

"You just did it."

"Did what? I literally like farted twenty minutes ago. There's no way that you're just smelling-"

"Gross." She scooted away. "Really, Lax, I didn't think that I would have to tell you to knock something like that off, but-"

"If that's not what you meant," he grumbled, "then what is it that you meant?"

She had to huff then, if only to get over being annoyed with him, before saying, "You taught me what catalyst meant, Lax."

He frowned. "That don't count."

"That totally counts. You teaching me what catalyst means has, like, totally opened up my whole vocabulary."

"Considering you just used both like and totally in a sentence, I don't see-"

"It's going to be a…catalyst of sorts, for me expanding the amount of words I use."

"Bull."

"I'm serious, dragon. Teach me more big words."

"Uh, well." He thought hard before saying, "Do you know what coruscate means?"

"I don't even know what you just said."

That made him grin, if only slightly. "Well, then I'll teach it to you."

"Teach me how to spell it too." Mira smiled at him. "Please."

As Laxus got down to that, he had to grin too. So yeah, the demon taught him plenty of things. Some important life lessons, others not so important to anything other than their relationship (seriously though, who washes stupid blankets). She was just great like that. But Laxus knew things too. And some of them might not be worth something to anyone else, but clearly, they meant something to Mirajane.

Or at least she could pretend that they did. Learning boring words that she'd never work into conversation (literally never in her life) wasn't entertaining to her, but the dragon seemed to like it. And of all the things that he did for her that she knew he hated, but put up with anyways, listening to the apparently human dictionary (she was taking all the definitions he told her with a grain of salt) spout off stupid words was hardly anything.

And Laxus never once thought that Mira was bored. Just kept going on and on and on. Even when he kinda ran out of words and just started bullshitting her, he was glad to find that Mira still listened. Even when it got even more obvious that she was bored.

Silly demon. He was fine with being the student. More than fine. The sexy teacher demon teaching the poor grumpy dragon a few things. He could get down with that.

Although it'd kinda be a lie to say he wouldn't go out and buy a dictionary later so he could memorize even more words to dazzle her with as well as teach to the demon.

He did have a reputation to uphold at that point.

"Laxus?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm sorry, but there's no way that what you just said was a word."

"Eh? How do you know? I just gave you a definition and-"

"Because, Lax, you just said two different words when you were talking."

"Since when did you get so smart? Huh? And observant?"

"Mmmm, since I became the teacher."

He just leaned down to press a kiss to her head. "I hear dragons are rather hardheaded."

"Oh?"

"Sometimes they need more than one lesson to really get something through their thick skulls."

"Laxus, if you're about to tell me you haven't been washing your sheets again-"

"I meant more the shower one."

"What shower thing?"

"You know. How you taught me to use shampoo." He reached up to itch at his head. "I could use a good shampoo. You wanna go, I dunno, wash my hair for me?"

Mira made a face. "I was wrong."

"Huh?" He frowned as she got up before moving to stand as well. She was walking towards the bathroom, anyhow, so he figured it best to follow. "About what? Shampoo?"

"No," she said slowly. "About you not talking about sex so much. Because that had to have been the worst lead in for you asking for sex I have ever heard."

"I'm tryin' here, okay?"

"Here's something to learn, Lax. Some new lines. Your current ones are getting old."

"Ooh, demon, you are lucky you're already giving me what I want," he grumbled, following her right into the bathroom to turn on the shower and let the water warm up. "You're starting to get on my nerves."

"Maybe that's something I can teach you now," she said, as she timed it perfectly by wiggling her dress down some.

"What?" left his mouth, but he was more focused on helping her unzip the dress and get out of it fully. "Demon?"

"Patience." She giggled, glancing over her shoulder at him. "Ready to learn?"

"If it means you teasing me or something," he grumbled with a frown, never one to enjoy teasing of any kind. He was much more a straight forward kinda guy. "No. Not at all."

"Too bad." Mira turned to poke at his chest. "Some lessons are just forced upon you."

"I like the force idea. The rest? Not so much."

Or he didn't. Until he was taught it. And, well, if teasing went just how Mira did it in the shower, _maybe_ he could learn to like it. Just a little.


End file.
